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The “Dull” Category

16 Ways To Fit In

by Jovan Tahale

I know several people who often complain about how their phones don’t ring that often and they seem perplexed as to why.  If this applies to you, perhaps, this may help.  If you want your phone to ring less, be sure to do the following:

  1. Be critical to the extreme. Look carefully at everyone and everything, so you miss nothing, and then speak about it negatively to all who’ll listen.
  2. Ask to borrow money and do it often with no plan to repay.
  3. Only call friends, family, and neighbors when you need a favor.
  4. Don’t listen or show interest when others are talking. Make it evident that your opinion and your life are the only ones to pay attention to.
  5. Be sure to point out who’s jealous of you every chance you get.
  6. Whenever anyone greets you in public, be sure to give a lengthy update on your latest afflictions, children’s accomplishments, and recent personal accolades and honors.
  7. Develop a reputation for being stingy. Be sure to show your selfish side at all times.  Take, take, take.  Never give of yourself, your time, or your money.
  8. Be certain to discuss indiscriminately and indiscreetly your sexual exploits and all the secrets you know on others..
  9. Blame others for your problems and tell all who’ll listen.
  10. Be sure to point out continuously how you’ve been wronged and taken advantage of by others.
  11. Ensure all your “jokes” are put-downs on those in your circle… Make teasing your specialty.
  12. Complain constantly about all the little things that bother or irritate you.
  13. Push to the front. Do everything you can to be heard, seen, and acknowledged first.
  14. Be loyal to no one. Let it be known that you don’t play favorites.  Give everyone an equal opportunity to be betrayed, maligned, and exposed.
  15. Be thin-skinned, but be sure to dish out what you can’t take.
  16. Brag, brag, brag. Make sure everyone in hearing distance understands how great and important you are

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