What’s It Like
To Be With You?
by Jan Pitts
June 5, 2019
Last month, I met a guy for a blind date, and we were set to meet outside a popular restaurant. He described himself and what he would be wearing, but I wasn’t prepared for how striking he was physically. When I spotted him getting out of the cab, I almost stumbled over my own feet. His face defined gorgeous. He was tall and well-built with sparkling white teeth, and I was instantly enchanted. However, before we were properly seated in the restaurant, he had succeeded in turning me off with the comment he made in greeting.
“Your hair is beautiful, but if it’s not yours, we got a problem because I don’t like women who wear weave.” Needless to say, the date didn’t get any better after that. The entire evening consisted of him bragging about his job and all the famous people he knew.. He didn’t ask me one question about myself.
A beautifully wrapped package means nothing if the package is empty and the wrapping is usually peeled off quickly to get a peek at what’s inside. The same applies to personal encounters. The most handsome guy in the world can open his mouth and ruin the picture. Therefore, being interesting has an appeal all its own and charmingly serves to accentuate the physical picture. Consider your personality, as you attempt to determine how easy it is to be with you?
Today there is so much emphasis placed on being physically fit and having a personality that’s in good shape doesn’t seem as relevant as a gorgeous healthy body. Mental cruelty or irreconcilable differences are usually the two leading causes for a divorce or the breakup of a relationship. Yet, we still we plod along in search of great sex appeal, power and good spending ability in a mate. Too many of us want what we are not. Our ideal mate must be not only handsome or beautiful, but kind, considerate, sensitive, even-tempered, understanding, balanced, confident, honest, open, easy to read, trusting, trustworthy, thick-skinned, resilient and void of hang-ups. But are we?
You are always with you, so you should be able to answer the following questions to determine whether you qualify temperamentally for the wonderful mate you seek, desire or have.
- When you become angry, is it evident to others? Yes No
- Can you become angry and not show it? Yes No
- When you become angry, how long after does it usually take you to return to feeling normal? All day 3 hrs Less
- Do you sulk or pout when you don’t get your way? Yes No
- Do you ever feel inferior in any circumstance? Yes No
- Are you offended easily? Yes No
- Are you cynical? Yes No
- Do you usually show your irritation? Yes No
- Are your actions guided or heavily influenced by the opinion of others?
- Are you afraid to admit when you don’t know something?
- Are you easy to get “bent out of shape” when you’re aggravated?
- Are you quick to think or fear the worse? Yes No
- Do others often describe you as paranoid? Yes No
- Do you hold grudges? Yes No
- Are you bitter? Yes No
- If you answered No to this question, give yourself 10 points, 0 for yes.
- Yes, 25 No, 0
- All day, 0; 3 hrs, 0; Less 25
- Yes, 0 No, 10
- Yes, 0 No, 20
- Yes, 0 No, 15
- Yes, 0; No, 50. It’s hard not to be cynical today. But, if you have an open heart towards others, they’ll have one toward you.
- Yes, 0 No, 50
- Yes, 0 No, 30
- Yes, 0; No, 75. Is the greatest show of confidence and comfortability with one’s self.
- Yes, 0 No, 75
- Yes, 0 No, 10
- Yes, 0 No, 20
- Yes, 0 No, 25
If you got less than 250 you need to work on shaping up your temperament. Your scale of balance is not in good working order. Focus on the areas in which you need to improve and setup a daily regimen of mental workouts that challenge this area.
251 – 350 – You are a joy to be around.
351 – 395 – You are the ideal mate.
- stand by your word even when it’s personally painful.
- give explanations not excuses.
- take responsibility for your actions, whether it’s good or bad.
- know where your weaknesses lie.
- say one thing and do another.
- take others down, a peg or two, when they’ve stepped on your toes.
- admit when you are wrong and say “I’m sorry.”
- If you checked off two of the questions between 1-6, you are not only easy to be with, but an extraordinary person of tremendous character. You are part of a rare group of people who stand high in a crowd anywhere.
If you checked 7, you are normal like the rest of us.
If you checked one between 8 and 12, you have the potential of being someone’s headache.
If you checked 8, You’re a good asset at anyone’s side.