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Fun Or Not?

What’s It Like

Being With You?

by Jan Pitts

Last month, I met a guy for a blind date, and we were set to meet outside a popular restaurant.  He described himself and what he would be wearing, but I wasn’t prepared for how striking he was physically.  When I spotted him getting out of the cab, I almost stumbled over my own feet.  His face defined the word gorgeous.  He was tall and well-built with sparkling white teeth, and I was instantly enchanted.  However, before we were properly seated in the restaurant, he had succeeded in turning me off with the comment he made in greeting.

“Your hair is beautiful, but if it’s not yours, we got a problem because I don’t like women who wear weave.”   Needless to say, the date didn’t get any better after that, especially since I was indeed wearing a weave.  As it turned out, the entire evening consisted of him bragging about his job and all the famous people he knew.  He didn’t ask me one question about myself.

A beautifully wrapped package means nothing if the package is empty and the wrapping is usually peeled off quickly to get a peek at what’s inside.  The same applies to personal encounters.  The most handsome guy in the world can open his mouth and ruin the picture.  Therefore, being interesting has an appeal all its own and charmingly serves to accentuate the physical picture.  Consider your personality, as you attempt to determine how easy it is to be with you.

Today there is so much emphasis placed on being physically fit and having a personality that’s in good shape doesn’t seem as relevant as a gorgeous healthy body.  Mental cruelty or irreconcilable differences are usually the two leading causes of a divorce or the breakup of a relationship.  Yet, we still plod along in search of great sex appeal, power, and good spending ability in a mate.

Too many of us want what we are not.  Our ideal mate must be not only handsome or beautiful, but kind, considerate, sensitive, even-tempered, understanding, balanced, confident, honest, open, easy to read, trusting, trustworthy, thick-skinned, resilient, and void of hang-ups.  But are we?

You are always with you, so you should be able to answer the following questions to determine whether you qualify temperamentally for the wonderful mate you seek, desire, or already have.  If you wish to gain some more insight…have a friend do this quiz with you.

  1. When you become angry, is it evident to others?  Yes            No                
  2. Can you become angry and not show it?  Yes             No                
  3. When you become angry, how long does it usually take you to return to feeling normal?  All day                    3 hrs                Less              
  4. Do you sulk or pout when you don’t get your way?  Yes                    No                  
  5. Do you ever feel inferior in any circumstance?  Yes                          No                  
  6. Are you offended easily?  Yes             No                
  7. Are you cynical?  Yes              No                
  8. Do you usually show your irritation?  Yes                   No                
  9. Are your actions guided or heavily influenced by the opinions of others?
    Yes                    No                
  10. Are you afraid to admit when you don’t know something?
    Yes                    No                
  11. Are you easy to get “bent out of shape” when you’re aggravated?
    Yes                    No                
  12. Are you quick to think or fear the worst?  Yes                       No                
  13. Do others often describe you as paranoid?  Yes                      No                
  14. Do you hold grudges?  Yes                  No                
  15. Are you bitter?  Yes                 No                


  1. If you answered No to this question, give yourself 10 points, 0 for yes.
  2. Yes, 25 No, 0
  3. All day, 0; 3 hrs, 0; Less 25
  4. Yes, 0 No, 10
  5. Yes, 0 No, 20
  6. Yes, 0 No, 15
  7. Yes, 0; No, 50. It’s hard not to be cynical today.  But, if you have an open heart toward others, they’ll have one toward you.
  8. Yes, 0 No, 50
  9. Yes, 0 No, 30
  10. Yes, 0; No, 75. Is the greatest show of confidence and comfort with one’s self.
  11. Yes, 0 No, 75
  12. Yes, 0 No, 10
  13. Yes, 0 No, 20
  14. Yes, 0 No, 25

If you got less than 250 you need to work on shaping up your temperament.  Your scale of balance is not in good working order.  Focus on the areas in which you need to improve and set up a daily regimen of mental workouts that challenge these areas.

251 – 350 – You are a joy to be around.

351 – 395 – You are the ideal mate.

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